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Lessons Learned: Mathews' Third Law of Social Dynamics
By Anthony I. Mathews, Beyster Institute Staff
As you may recall, we are in the middle of an exploration of lessons I have learned through my nearly 30 years working with employee ownership companies. Hopefully, these may be of some use to you in operating your plans. In all the things I have learned in my career, the third law is among the most reliable: “No matter what your actual intent, 8 to 15 percent of any population you serve will assume you are trying to cheat them and operate accordingly.”
The phenomenon represented by this law is as reliable as the likelihood of the appearance of a parking enforcement officer when you are just going in for a minute to pick up your dry cleaning. Whenever you gather a group of more than 10 people, it is absolutely guaranteed that 8% to 15% of them will be people who are cynical and suspicious. These folks will always see the negative possibilities in whatever is in front of them, and no matter how pure your intentions, they will believe that you have some unspoken agenda that is going to harm them significantly. This is so reliable, in fact, that I have developed the habit of looking at all the faces in any group before any program I give to try to spot these people in the audience. By the end, they have always made themselves known and always in the right proportions. Sometimes I can tell in the beginning just from looking at them and sometimes I can’t, but they are always there.
I have come to know this group of people as the natural curmudgeons.
They are the people who frequently inspire the comment, “If you are so miserable here, why do you stay?” And, the truth is that it is just their nature. There is no situation in which they could react otherwise.
For those of you who have to deal with them, it helps a lot to understand that by being part of their nature, it is inevitable – but it doesn’t make them happy either. It helps even more to understand that they perform a very valuable function within any group. They are the voice of a dark corner of the human psyche where most of us have parked our paranoia and cynicism under a thick tarp that gets rolled back only occasionally. And the rolling back of that tarp brings me to what might well be the most interesting feature of this phenomenon – the corollary to the 3rd law - to wit:
“If you take steps to eliminate the 8 to 15% of curmudgeons from your group, within a week or so, 8 to 15% of the rest of the group will turn into them.”
This corollary is as reliable as the law itself. It also makes clear that the curmudgeon presence in every group is necessary. They fulfill a valuable purpose (no matter how annoying it might be for you). The group needs them or its balance will be lost and chaos might ensue. So, if your curmudgeons were to suddenly disappear, others would rise to replace them. It is a sad process to watch, but it is as reliable as the sunrise…as reliable as the law itself.
So, in the end, what does this mean in the world of employee ownership?
Well first, it means that you probably shouldn’t aim your communication programming at satisfying these people. They will never be satisfied, period. And, you will just get increasingly frustrated the more you try. I know of a couple of instances in which people got turned off to the whole idea of their ESOP because of the harping of these folks, completely ignoring the 85% to 92% of the population who were either neutral or happy and excited to participate.
That does not mean you should ignore them – the others won’t. What it does mean is that where their concerns come up in a group setting, you will have to master the art of gently responding by just stating the truth. You need to respond without guilt or anxiety and with confidence that what you have done is for the good (assuming, of course, that it is). Then you can move on to other matters and attend to the rest of the group.
You will also find that gently dealing with the curmudgeons in this way is actually a big help in communicating with all the rest. But, whatever you do, don’t expect the curmudgeons to be happy about it. Don’t forget that frustration is most often the result of unrealistic expectations, and, in that equation, only you are in complete charge of setting the expectations.
A second, and more important, bit of advice is not to be too quick to try to get rid of this portion of your population. By hanging on to the curmudgeons you have, and consistently being serious (but not overly serious) about their concerns, you may be able to change them into very productive members of your community. After all, they are usually voicing things that have occurred to others without being spoken. So, they may serve as a bellwether of the sorts of concerns that run below the surface throughout your organization. Most importantly, though, you may very well be protecting one of your sunnier dispositions from having to become a curmudgeon him or herself. It’s a difficult job, but someone does have to do it. Better those who are naturally inclined that way than someone who will have to develop the skill from scratch.
So, what is the ESOP moral of this lesson?
“Embrace your curmudgeons!" Recognize that these folks are as important to the social structure as anyone. And, finally, realize that the curmudgeon you know is almost always easier to handle than the one you might create.
In the end, if you do have to get rid of one of your curmudgeons, if you have followed this advice, you will at least know that you did all you could to make it right, and that’s a good feeling – for you. Your curmudgeon will still be miserable. He or she will never be able to recognize the good turn for what it is and remain true to his or her nature.
©2007 The Beyster Institute and its authors and their entities. All rights reserved.
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